Unofficialy Yours
by yorin
Summary: Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less. A college future fic for the rayella fandom.


Title: Unofficially Yours

Summary: Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it whatever cheesy thing you can think of. But they're too stubborn to recognize what was already in front of their face. A college future fic for the rayella fandom.

Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine.

Warning: Swearing

Author's Note: Well, I was planning to make this as a multichap fic, but unfortunately the one that I dedicated to myself as a birthday fic doesn't suit at all because as my friend pointed out I haven't even finished writing its draft. And giving yourself and unfinished gift was just a big no, no. So yeah, this is for me for shipping one of the most awesome pairing in this planet and to the rest who like rayella.

* * *

_It's all started with little maturity and college._

Ray was standing in front of shelves of book and contemplating the difficult choice of Hemingway or Faulkner, when:

"—you think I didn't know that? That was cruel and unusual punish—"

faded in and out of his hearing. It was the voice of someone Ray knows so well. Even if it had been a year since he heard that voice.

He turned and ran out of the library to verify his suspicion never minding the librarian's disproving stare.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

"Odd isn't it, that all of the colleges in the fifty state she picked mine." Ray ignored the little voice in the back of his head that says he doesn't own the school, and Stella could as well have the right to the school as he has.

"Bet you're happy with that." Scott says when Ray informs him in Skype the next day, because although he has acquired minions for the past year, Scott is the only one who could relate to his current dilemma.

When Ray raised an inquisitive brow, Scott just grins.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

When he sees the girl next in his favorite diner at lunch(figures that she invaded it too), Ray dropped in to the chair opposite hers and doesn't say a word, because Stella's heavily concentrated on both texting (which Ray has no doubt is one of her Loserheads) and eating her veggie burger. Although Ray like this time the tranquility which is an odd occurrence when the two of them is in each other's presence, he badly wants to ask why here? Why picked this particular college? He wants to submit his question into the universe, just to get it off his chest, but he's not sure he wants the answer.

"Earth to Ray."

Blinking and nearly upturning his water at the sudden intrusion into his thoughts, Ray rights the cup just in time and frowns. "What?"

Stella pauses in the middle of one of her text and lifts an eyebrow at him. She always has that way of hers, of presenting her emotion or feelings with just one gesture. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Of course." Despite his confusion, Ray managed to shoot a smug grin. "Why would you say that?"

"You're in my table."Stella says, knowing that those words spoke a lot. But Ray pretended that he didn't know and continued eating his own food instead. A right move, because after a pointed stare, Stella mumbles that sounds like 'smug bastard' but didn't forcibly remove the said smug bastard in her table.

And that lunch date became a ritual.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

"That movie sucks." Ray reaches out and stole some of Stella's French fries.

"No it isn't." Stella gives him a look and slaps his hands away from her food because some of those fries are soaking with catchup and half bitten by her. "You just say that, because you mister is a scaredy cat."

Ray smiles and waggles his eyebrows at the girl sitting opposite his and bites at the fries he'd successfully stolen. "Yeah. And I'm the one who clutched somebody else hands because I'm a scaredy cat"

"It's just one time." Stella hissed in an indignant anger."Besides you jumped out of your seat when that scary lady showed up."

Ray let out a snort breaking half of his pie and offers it to Stella. "That was because you almost broke my fingers with that hard grip of yours. Seriously woman, stop hanging out with those boys in that fitness gym."

"You're one to talk," Stella sneers at him and takes his offered pie. "You're a member of that gym also remember"

Ray waves a hand dismissing what just Stella said. "Yeah, but I'm not on steroids, those bulging muscles were crime against the nature."

Stella pauses and narrows her eyes, Ray pretended to be fascinated with the old lady walking past the diner's window. "Are you jealous of those muscles?"

Ray did a double take at that, of all things to say. "What?"

"Oh, poor Ray."Stella feigned a sympathetic look at him. "Don't you worry dear. You might grow some someday, just stir away from the steroids, I heard they have side effects in..." Stella looks pointedly in the area below his belt.

"Hey. That's below the belt!"

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

"We're not dating," Ray tells his classmates in his English class after they saw him and Stella talking in the hallway just right outside where their classes are held, but they don't look like they believe him.

"We're not dating," Ray tells his roommate after he had open the window past curfew for Ray who had been on a movie night with Stella, but he just glances backwards over his shoulder and eyes him distrustfully before turning on his laptop and proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the night or probably for the rest of the semester.

"We're not dating." Ray tells Scott after a picture of him and Stella made their way to facebook, Scott just laughs at him.

"We're not dating," Ray tells the picture of Stella in his phone, but it's just a picture, so it doesn't say anything back.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

Stella calls halfway through Jennifer's Body. His dorm mates threw impressively well aimed pillows at him. An understandable move, it was the scene where Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried were kissing. Ray managed to escape half of them by way of the door that leads to the hallway.

"Miss me much?" Ray jokes by way of greeting, they just saw each other three hours ago.

"Giovanni from my dance class asked me out today," is what Stella answered, and Ray doesn't like the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. And he's silent for a moment that felt like a year to him, he didn't even notice that he hasn't uttered a word to Stella after that.

"Oh Ray? You still there?"

"Yeah."Ray cleared his throat, tried to laugh but fails mostly. "I'm still here."

"Did I disturb you just now?" And Ray just know that she's doing that nose crunching again that he find cute, although he won't ever admit that to her.

"Uhm," He shuffles on his feet. Looking back at the room where his dorm mates are cramp replaying that scene in Jennifer's Body again. "It's movie night. The guys…we were watching Jennifer's Body."

"I see. The kissing scene?"

Ray laughs, a hollow one even to his own ears. "Yeah. The kissing scene."

An awkward silence ensued before Stella broke it. "I… I'll just leave you with your kissing scene then. Goodnight Ray."

"Night Stella."

Ray spends most of the night staring at his hands after that. He hears the conversations taking place around him, but through some sort of vacuum, like he's miles and miles away. He didn't even notice when the movie stop and his companions started to leave.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

Watching Stella rifle through his fridge for food, Ray wonders when the lines between them started blurring. He doesn't remember, maybe it's the time that his dad purchase this pad for him a compensation for his more than excellent grade and he found Stella in his home more and more this days. That explains the spare toothbrush and another towel in his bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Stella asks, shaking him out of his thoughts. She eventually found an apple up there, and proceeded to give it a big bite. "You look like you're deep in thought."

"You're dressed up," Ray says instead. "Have another date?"

Stella pursed her lips, watching him intently." Why? You have one and kicking me out of here?"

Ray scoffs at that."You of all people know that I don't bring girls here."

Stella makes a big deal out of rolling her eyes. They both have been engaged to frenzy dating this past year, but after that Giovanni induced phone call, none of them mention their dates when they're with each other presence. "What? You think of me as lacking that X chromosome?"

"The way you challenge those frat boys?" Ray answers without missing a beat. "I've might say yes."

Her eyes narrowed at him and hmped. "It was their fault. Presumptuous bastards they are. You think I'll just stand there while they throw slurs at Kevin? Hah. Everybody deserves to be respected despite their sexuality. Everybody matters in this world."

Ray's stomach does that weird thwirl-i-lo thing again, because she just reminded him at that time when she did that speech at school assembly in Mesa High about her shirt. "That," he says, "is the reason you're always in trouble."

"But I can handle my own." Stella protests, but Ray silences him a glare.

"Stella. Those guys didn't care about respect. All do they cares about were girls, party and booze."

Stella laughs mockingly at him. "Just like you do?"

"Stella." He conveys all of his emotions in uttering her name. He was so scared that time when one of his colleague informed him that his _girl_just managed to land herself in trouble, suffice to say that Ray hadn't reach to third base because he was halfway to Stella when he realizes that he'd just left his date with their bill and without a proper explanation.

Stella winces at his tone. "I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to ruin your date."

"I know." He leaned on the center island and gesture to her to come closer. "Come 'ere"

Stella playfully rolls her eyes but still let him tug her in his embrace. His nose automatically borrows in her hair. "There are jerks like me who's all bark and not bite, but they're also jerks who had it in deep in their bones that nothing even surgery could remove it. I want you far away from them Stell."

"You know I can't do that. I wouldn't be me if I just play dead whenever I encounter somebody like that. " Stella brought up her hands to caress Ray's stiffening back when he heard those words. Stella wanted to roll her eyes again but restrained herself. " But I promise you okay, if it looks dangerous enough, I'll take the more courageous move and run away."

He released her in his hold and looks her straight in the eyes. "You promised not to pull some shitty trick like that Bella chick did with the bikers and the cliff."

Stella laughs openly. "Shut up. I'm not deranged"

"Ha! Somehow that makes me dubious."

"Jerk."

Their moment was interrupted by Stella's phone.

Ray raised an eyebrow, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling that settles deep in his stomach. "Your date?"

"Nope." Stella checks the message on her phone. "It's Wen. He's in the city and we're having a dinner tonight."

"Ginger? What's he doing here?"

"I dunno." Stella grabs her bag and walk out in the kitchen to the door, Ray on her heels. "I'll probably know what it is all about after our dinner tonight. Got to go Ray."

"Hey."

Stella stops midway to opening the door fully.

"Come back here after okay. I have some Japanese horror flick, we can watch it without the subtitle on, you'll be a good interpreter."

"Geez." Another eyeroll. "I'm glad to know that my existence can be useful to you Beech."

"Why? You are expecting something else?"

The loud banging on his door or Stella's loud laughter didn't help to settle the gnawing feeling he had on his stomach.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

Ray never thought he would end up hanging out with Stella's lemonheads minus Scott. First of all, her lemon heads were in another state doing god knows what, okay he knows what they were doing because Stella sometimes talks about them, but still. Second, he doubted it that his presence would be welcomed to their midst, not that he like to be welcome anyway.

That's why Ray didn't know how he ended up being a host for their reunion. Ray suspects that it was because of Scott constant badgering and Stella's puppy eyes. Ray cursed the fate that makes the six underage and does prohibit them to go to a bar to have a party because partying without alcohol is just as useless as parachuting without a parachute or Mo's moral conscience on refusal to acquire fake ID's.

Ray helps himself with the food, at least the loser heads have the decency to bring their own food. Stella settled in companionably beside him.

"This is good," she said happily around the rim of her glass of something that Ray suspect spiked with an alcohol. "Glad you agreed with this."

"Of course, pleasing you is my life's goal," Ray retorted. To his mild dismay, it came out sounding more fond than sarcastic.

Stella beamed at him, and Ray idly wondered when did he become so sappy that this girl got him wrap around her little finger.

"What are you eating?" Stella asked him, peering on the finger food he's currently munching.

"Not for you," Ray responded. Seeing Stella's confused look, he clarified, "Meat."

"Oh, " Stella makes a face. "You don't have anything for me?"

"Nerdy brought with her vegetarian lasagna."

Stella frowned. "They have names, you know."

"Sure they do. Traitor, Ginger, Curly, Nerdy and Meekly."

"Wen, Charlie, Mo and Olivia." Clearly omitting Scott for she knew about the skype sessions.

"That's what I said," Ray said smugly. " Ginger, Curly, Nerdy and Meekly."

Stella feigned an exasperated look and muttered, "Prat." and sauntered towards her friends.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

It was the night before Stella was to go home for the upcoming Christmas, and everything she needs for the break was already packed. Ray still needed to stay for a day to pass some of his requirements for his major subject. And even if they do come home at the same day, they still will be separated because her family moves away again.

Stella was now asleep in his pad, lying in his bed with her head propped up on his pillow. Stella's hands lay outstretched on the blankets as if she wanted to snatch at everything being offered to her.

Ray resisted the urge to take the hand. He didn't want to wake Stella up.

And he should go to bed himself or in this case his couch. He still has a chapter quiz tomorrow and his requirement hasn't been printed yet. He spent his night helping Stella packed up and calming her over excited nerves. He's quite tired.

But still he lingered, looking.

Too many things running through his mind. Too many thoughts. Ray didn't want to dwell on it for this time, quite content on looking the girl currently sprawled in his bed.

Stella's voice rang on his head: _Would you stop being a creep and sleep already._

Ray rolled his eyes. Yes, it was time to go to bed when he decided to have rows with Stella that she wasn't even awake for.

He touched Stella's cheek, once, with a fingertip, before he moved off.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

"What are you wearing?"

Startled, Stella turned at the sound of Ray's voice. She looked down at her clothing. Black tight dress that reached mid thigh with matching black pumps as footwear—Stella didn't see the problem. "What?" she asked confuse.

Ray rolled his eyes and stomped over. "You can't wear those."

"Why not?"

"Because that dress looks like half of it is missing." Ray hissed.

Stella rolls her eyes. "That's stupid."

"Look, just dress something else okay? You know your usual clothes." They both know what types of clothes Ray is talking about, the ones Stella likes to wear in public which mostly consists of pants.

Stella whirled around. "There is nothing wrong with this dress."

"Yes, just like there's nothing wrong with that mini skirt you wear for a dare when somebody attempted to grope you in the subway," Ray drawled.

"Shut it, Ray," Stella wheezed.

Ray sighed. "Sorry. That was, uh, a bit uncalled for. Look, I'm just trying to help you. Look out for you."

"Then stop being a prick and grow some balls."

Ray's nose wrinkled in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Let's just go. I don't want to be late."

"Fine."

"Fine," Stella responded before stalking out of the room.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

"College boys," Stella tells him later as Ray manages to find himself hunched over a toilet. "I thought they have more tolerance in booze."

"Shut up," Ray chokes out. "You're making it worse."

Stella raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "You can't tell me to shut up when you're in that condition drunkard."

"You're the worst person ever."

"Says the guy who spent the night drowning himself on alcohol during his graduation party," she says, ignoring Ray. "Although I've definitely satisfied"

"Stella," Ray warns.

"Okay, fine," Stella sighs. "But you really deserve it tonight."

"I'm sorry, okay?" he apologizes weakly. "And if it makes you feel better, I'll buy you another set of dress skimpier than the one you're on now."

Stella stares at him in disbelief. "Of all the jerkish things you did to me this week that's what you focus on?"

"So I've been a jerk. Sue me. I've been sired that way just ask the doctor who delivered me."

Stella eyes him. "If you're not in that condition I'd pummel you to death."

He feels his stomach rumble. "You suck, Stella. Go away."

Stella huffed. "What's got your knickers in such a twist, anyway?"

"Nothing."

Stella pursed her lips on a thin line. "That's not just nothing Ray. You've thrown a fit so many times this week and snapped to every person who got six feet closer to you. And—"

"I'M LEAVING!"Ray slumps on the tiled floor. "Dad offers me a job in DC."

Stella gasped, it was as if the breath had been squeezed from her in one short, vicious twist. "How long?"

"A week from now."

Ray watched Stella go, wondering how things had gone so terribly wrong. Ray felt like he's going to pass out. No. Ray felt like he _needed _to pass out.

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

Ray was innocently falling in queue waiting for his daily dose of coffee to clear himself of the hangover when some random girl started glaring at him. What? Ray can't remember doing something to this random girl— now come to think of it, not so random girl.

"What?" Ray leered at her.

"You're a prick." The girl glares at him.

Ray raised an eyebrow. "And that's because…"

"If you want to break up with girl then at least wait when her roommate doesn't bring anybody home. Seriously, with all the packing she was doing last night—"

Oh, realization dawns on him, he was a bit slow today blames that to the pounding headache he's having. This woman is Stella's roommate. That was why she looked—

Wait.

"What do you mean packing?"

"Oh. Now you care?"

Ray glared daggers at the obnoxious woman.

The woman hmphs."She's going home. Said something about jack—hey! Where are you going I haven't finish yet."

_**{lemonade mouth 2 is a much needed movie by me but Disney sucks and made me cry}**_

Ray took the stairs three steps at a time to Stella's floor. Silently muttering his mantra _be there, be there, be there._

Ray tried to order his thoughts when stop at Stella's front door. He had no idea what he was going to say, how he was going to explain to her everything that happens. He ran his hands through his hair and knock.

It took a long moment for somebody to open it, and when that somebody recognize the figure standing on her doorstep only a quick move on Ray's part kept Stella from slamming the door in his face. They stared at each other for a long moment.

"Don't you _dare_, Stella," Ray said, a bit breathlessly, and Stella eased the door open, releasing Ray's arm, thrust inside to keep it from closing.

"What are you doing here, Ray?" Stella hissed, giving him her deadliest glare. "You want some despedida party for your upcoming big move?"

Ray open his mouth to apologize for that when he caught sight of her luggage and the fear of losing her makes him say some things he shouldn't say.

"What the fucking hell is wrong with you." Ray snarled. "You're leaving for a measly understanding. What you're turning into a fucking coward Stella?"

And the thing that really attracted Ray to Stella is that she didn't give a shit about his outburst and see him eye to eye, doesn't back down from him, doesn't bow down to him.

"That's rich coming from you Beech." Stella crosses her arms. "Stop being a hypocrite."

Ray pursed his lips tightly, unable to summons words that would fix this.

"You know what? I'm tired of this." Stella turned away and resumes her packing.

"You can't… you can't go."

"Funny. I should be the one saying that a week ago, if just a certain someone admits that he's leaving me hanging here. But of course I don't matter right?"

Ray flinched at Stella scathing words. "It's not that simple."

"Then explain it to me then. Because, oh, you're so smart and superior that you didn't even tell your friend that you're going away."

"We're not friends." Ray mutters.

"Excuse me" Stella's voice is angrier now.

Ray clears his throat and speaks louder than before. "We're not friends."

"Then how do you explain three years of my fucking life in this fucking university?"Stella snarled nose flaring in anger. "Oh. I see. I'm one of those persons who follows you around like you're heaven sent. Because you're so superior nobody matters to you."

"Stella—"

"Get out. Don't want you to have to spend any more time with people below you."

"How dare you tell me—"

Stella backed away. Ray watching her close in herself, he couldn't stand to see her like this. "Get out. I don't want you here."

"Can you just let me exp—"

"Get out!"

"I'm not—"

"Get OUT!"

"Stella. Stop. You're not making—"

"Get the fuck out! Get out, get out, GET OUT!" Stella threw her water glass, watching it shatter inches from Ray's head.

Ray ducked to avoid the spray of glass shards.

"Get out." Stella lets out a heart wrenching sob.

Ray froze from where he stands, completely stunned from watching the woman he cherished the most breaks down in front of him. They had rows before. Full of shouting and whirlwind emotion, but this, this is the first time that Stella cries from it. He felt pathetic, and he's sure that he just looks like that in this moment, but Ray didn't care how pathetic he must look right now. Stella, his proud Stella breaks down in front of him, and worst of all he's the reason she's crying.

Time passed. He wasn't even sure how long but eventually Ray managed to drag himself to Stella's direction, stopping inches away from her sobbing form.

Stella was curled in herself unlike her usual stance that make her seem bigger than she really is, she was full out sobbing, not the type where you just let tears fall down but the one that make your face unattractive. This couldn't go on.

"Please stop crying," Ray enveloped her form in his embrace. "Hit me if you want. Hurt me. I don't care. Just stop crying please."

"I h-hate you." Stella croaks out.

He pressed a kiss in her forehead."I know."

"You're a jerk."

Ray wanted to cry too. "I know."

"You better have a good explanation for this." She sniffs, her sob is subsiding now.

Silence stretched for a long time, before Stella nudge his shoulder indicating that her patience is running low.

Ray clears his throat before speaking, willing his words to stop sticking in his throat.

"I hate you sometimes, you know," Ray grumbled and tightened his grip because Stella is attempting move away from him, when it is evident to Stella that he wouldn't let go she stop squirming, Ray continues. "But that doesn't mean that you don't matter to me. You matter to me."

Stella snorts, disbelieving. "You have a funny way of showing it. Not a friend my ass."

"No." He pressed closer to her. "If I think you don't matter to me then I shouldn't have given you the key to my pad. If you don't matter to me I shouldn't rake this city all day to find a vegetarian cake for you. If you don't matter to me then I shouldn't have fly halfway across the country leaving my family's yearly get together so you wouldn't be lonely. If you don't matter to me—"

"Then why'd you say that—"

"That you aren't my friend?"

"Yeah." Stella said quietly.

"Because …"He shifted, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and afraid, taking a slow breath Ray admitted. "Because I want you as more than a friend."

Stella stiffened in his arms and pushed him away. Ray took in her look of frustration and irritability, her clenched jaw and furrowed brow, and his body was suddenly moving three steps ahead of his mind, fingers reaching out as he kissed her desperately, Ray reacting before Stella's brain had even had a chance to fully catch up with what was happening.

Stella's eyes double in size, swollen lips parted in a silent 'o', Ray desperately wants to kissed her again. "How…When..Wh—"

"I've been waiting to do that since you showed up in Mesa High."

"Why… Why now!" Stella cried, tears breaking free and sliding down her cheek. "Why now when you're planning on leaving me here, conquering the world, marrying some blond and having a perfect family! And now you're saying that? How cruel could you be?"

Ray gaped at her. Had she been thinking that, no wonder? Shit, he knew Stella and her insecurities.

"Stella. I'm not leaving _you_."

"Y-You were planning to." Stella shook her head and pulled away from him, stumbling backwards and wrapping her arms around herself, looking defeated, choking sobs. "W-Why are you doing this t-to m-me?"

Ray hushed her gently, threading his fingers through her hair and squeezing her around the middle. Damn! She fitted nicely in his arms, smelled good too.

"Calm down," Ray soothed, rubbing small circles onto the small of Stella's back with his fingertips. "I'm not leaving you."

"I don't want you to, but there's still DC."Stella said with a quiet sniff. "And why are you telling me this now? We've been close for almost three years."

Ray contemplates which of her question she should answers first, might as well be the last one.

"That's because I'm a coward." He laughed, didn't know why, maybe he's laughing at himself for being so stupid. "I know what you feel about _me, _all of the people around us wasn't subtle on hinting about it_._ And it's so fucking obvious what I feel about _you. _It's like I'm carrying a billboard saying it."

"Then why." Stella said quietly.

"Because I'm a coward. I'm afraid, afraid that what if I got you and then you'd realize than I'm not worth it. I'm not worth to be with you. I'm afraid that I might lose you because of this. I've been a prick this whole week, because I thought that now I'd already finished here and I'm off to somewhere, you'll forget me. You'll find another guy who'd get you out of trouble, buy you food, wake up at the middle of the night for your late phone calls or makes you laugh."

Ray takes a deep breath, or else he might not finished what he started, he can't let that happen. This is too important to him now.

"I really want to hate you for making me feel this way. But I can't… I can't because I love _you_ so much to hate you." he said, brushing his fingers over Stella's cheek. "You don't know how much you mean to me. _I love you Stella_."

Stella burst into tears." "Y-you… you really feel that way?"

"Yes. All of it," he said, looking relieved.

Stella eyes flashes, something he's quite familiar with, determination.

"I'm not gonna let you take that back."

Ray smile. There, that's his girl. "I know."

And Ray isn't quite surprise when Stella's lips met his.

~END~

I hope you like this also.


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